The Many Faces of Child Abuse

The Many Faces of Child Abuse: Types, Causes, Warning Signs, Effects and Treatment

Fight Child Abuse by Empowering Yourself with Knowledge

What is child abuse? Child abuse is a term that generally refers to the mistreatment of a child by a parent or another adult. There is no standard definition however, as the term child abuse encompasses a broad range of harmful acts perpetrated against children. While the definition of child abuse is changing, it remains a very serious and widespread problem in our society.

There are several types of child abuse. One type of child abuse is that of emotional abuse. Yelling at a child, threatening a child, and calling that child names would be considered emotional abuse. Children who have been emotionally abused tend to remember the harmful words that were said to them much clearer than they would a spanking they may have received. Emotional abuse may not look as painful, but it can be just as painful if not more painful than physical abuse.

Another type of child abuse is that of physical abuse. This is typically what people think of when they hear the term "child abuse." The definition of physical abuse is any physical force or action that results in or may result in the non-accidental injury of a child. Physical abuse can come in the form of cigarette burns, grabbing a child too hard, strangulation, and spanking or hitting a child too hard. Physical abuse happens mainly to the children where the parents know that the children cannot fight back, such as with smaller, younger and handicapped children. No one knows how many instances of child abuse occur each year because many cases of child abuse are never reported. Physical child abuse is rarely ever reported so there is no way of knowing an exact number or even an estimate of how many children are actually abused. Children are frequently brought to emergency departments because of these injuries. Although the true incidence of intentional injury is unknown estimates have been made that up to 10% of childhood injuries presented to emergency departments are the result of child abuse.

Neglect is another type of child abuse. This form of child abuse occurs when a parent or caregiver fails to provide for the basic needs of a child. It is the most common form of child abuse. If a child does something wrong a parent could punish that child by not feeding him or her or by locking the child in a room for long periods of time. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) can in fact be a form of neglect. SIDS results from neglect when parents put their small infants in sleep environments that aren't suitable for the infants to sleep in. As a result, these infants die in their sleep. Another instance of neglect occurs due to lack of supervision. Most drowning deaths occur due to neglect as a result of improper supervision.

Sexual abuse is yet another form of child abuse. Pedophilia falls under the category of sexual abuse. Adults who are sexually attracted to children are called pedophiles. Children should be warned not to let people, even family members, touch them in ways that make them uncomfortable. Children should also be told to tell a trusted adult if they are sexually abused. Children really cannot help themselves in these situations because the offending adult will often threaten their lives or the lives of their family if they tell about the abuse.

Child trafficking is another form of sexual/physical abuse that is quite different. Child trafficking occurs when children are sold illegally for large amounts of money. The children are sold as labor slaves, sex slaves, or whatever the buyer wants the child to be. Human trafficking has always been a problem in some cultures but increased in the early 1990s, experts say.

Views about the causes of child abuse have changed through the years. Many social scientists once believed that only people with severe emotional problems would abuse children. However, studies indicate that most individuals who abuse children do not suffer from traditional psychiatric illnesses. Another common view is that abused children grow up to be abusive adults, a phenomenon referred to as the cycle of abuse. Research has shown, however, that abused children do not necessarily become abusers as adults. Today, many experts believe that child abuse is widespread because society regards physical punishment by parents as a reasonable way of modifying a child's behavior. Adults who hurt children sometimes only intend to correct them and do not realize how easily children can be injured. Stress is yet another reason for child abuse. Parents who are unemployed, extremely isolated, or under a great deal of stress for other reasons are more likely to abuse their children than parents who do not have such problems. The mentally handicapped and premature babies can also be a great stress on parents. Children who misbehave can often lead to stressing the parents and can therefore lead to abuse. There are group programs available to these parents that are undergoing these types of stresses so that they can deal with their issues properly and not take their anger out on their children.

Most abusers have similar traits. The vast majority of the time abusers are caregivers that are related to the child. For the children who are sexually abused, their abuser is usually a close relative or neighbor; someone that they spend a lot of time with. Abusers tend to be under a great deal of stress, unhappy, and are often times lonely. Abusers normally feel isolated, and could have been abused as children themselves. Mothers are more likely to emotionally and physically abuse than fathers, and fathers are more likely to sexually abuse their children than mothers.

There are signs of child abuse exhibited by abused children. Children develop a range of poorly adapted, anti-social and self-destructive behaviors as a way to cope with their abusive situations. Children who experience emotional abuse show certain signs. They are not close with their parents, they may show extremes in behavior, act inappropriate for their age (too adult or too infantile), and may even attempt suicide because of the abuse. Their emotional and physical development is often times delayed as well. Children who are subjected to physical abuse have very obvious signs that they may be being abused. The children will have bruises and other unexplained injuries, they will miss school and have fading bruises or other marks after an absence from school, the child will cower at the sight of their parents, and when it is time for these children to go home some will act afraid and may cry because they do not want to leave the safety of school. When a child is being neglected they may report that there is no one there for them, they may come to school unkempt, and they may steal from classmates as a way to survive and eat. Neglected children tend to have repeated absences, abuse alcohol or drugs, medical needs aren't being met most times, and these children may lack sufficient clothing for the weather (no jacket, inappropriate shoes, etc.). Sexually abused children will have problems sitting or walking, refuse to change for gym or participate in physical activities, have nightmares and wet the bed, and demonstrate generally bizarre, sophisticated or unusual sexual knowledge or behavior.

Child abuse doesn't stop at the event unfortunately. Children experience short and long-term effects as a result of the abuse they experience. The short-term effects include feelings of guilt and violation. These children will sometimes feel that the abuse is their fault. Children feel out of control and worry about being abused again. School performance suffers because of truancy and concentration problems and the child's self-esteem is negatively affected. Because of the fear they feel at doing something to trigger an "attack" these children will lose their sense of curiosity and wUnfortunately the system of dealing with child abuse today has some major pitfalls. ``The whole structure of the way the child-protective system works is extremely challenging because it waits for children to be abused and neglected and then pours resources in, trying to fix the problem,'' said David Sanders, executive vice president for systems improvement at Casey Family Programs and former DCFS director. "The best thing to do is to actually try and prevent abuse and neglect in the first place." Hopefully someone listens to Mr. Sanders soon.

All hope is not lost for victims of child abuse. There are several options available to treat abused children so that they may lead healthy, "normal" lives. One such treatment option is called trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy. This was originally developed to treat sexually abused children, but is now used for victims of any kind of trauma. It targets trauma-related symptoms in children including Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), clinical depression, and anxiety. Another treatment option is called abuse-focused cognitive behavioral therapy, and it was designed for children who have experienced physical abuse. It targets externalizing behaviors and strengthens pro-social behaviors. Offending parents are included in treatment, to improve parenting skills and practices. A third treatment option is child-parent psychotherapy and it was designed to improve the child-parent relationship following the experience of domestic violence. It targets trauma-related symptoms in infants, toddlers, and preschoolers, including PTSD, aggression, defiance, and anxiety.

Child abuse is a serious problem that must be understood. There is no one single definition or treatment. Regardless, knowing more about this all-encompassing topic is important. Knowledge is power and in order to combat this wide-spread problem a great deal of power will be needed. Hopefully, with more time, this is an issue that will dissipate so that all of our society's children can feel safe and confident.

Resources:

Anderson, Troy. "Cost of Preventing Child Abuse Rising." Daily News of Los Angeles 29 Jan 2008: Valley, p A3

Brown, Sarah D., Brack, Greg, & Mullis, Frances. "Traumatic Symptoms in Sexually Abused Children: Implications for School Counselors." Aug 2008, Vol. 11 Issue 6, p368-379
Iwasaki, John. "Human Trafficking Increasing Worldwide." Seattle Post-Intelligencer 5 Aug 2008: News Section, p.B1
Gupta, Anna. "Responses to child neglect." Community Care 19 June 2008: 1712, p 24-25

Lombardi, Kate Stone. "A Surge in Reports of Abuse." New York Times 16 Dec 2007: Westchester Weekly Deskill stop trying new things. The end result is that of a child that never reaches their full intellectual potential. Long-term effects include aggression lasting into adulthood, adult depression, and problematic social relations later in life and while holding future jobs. Abused children are more likely to choose abusive adult relationships or become abusers themselves. Some of the other long-lasting emotional and behavioral problems resulting from childhood abuse include eating disorders, substance abuse, compulsive sexual behaviors, and excessive thrill seeking/dangerous behaviors that put the life of the adult subjected to the past abuse into unnecessary jeopardy.

The fight against child abuse continues on today. At present, state child welfare experts investigate abuse cases and counsel families of abused children. There are support programs available for abused children and abusive parents. Parent support programs, such as Parents Anonymous, child and family support centers, and other professional services can help relieve many of the stresses that lead to abuse. In extreme cases of child abuse, a juvenile court may remove a child from the home and place the child in a foster home or other type of out-of-home care facility to ensure the child's safety.

Richey, Warren. "Child-abuse claims vs. parent's rights." The Christian Science Monitor 12 June 2008

Tollefson, Derrik R. "Child abuse." World Book Advanced. 2008. 22 Oct. 2008
Walling, Anne D. "Checklist Improves Awareness of Child Abuse." American Family Physician 15 Aug 2002: Vol. 66 Issue 4,

Parents and Children United

At Parents and Children United, we are focused on Family Reunification and Self Sufficiency services with the highest levels of customer with a variety of offerings to choose from, we’re sure you’ll be happy working with us.  Our secondary focus is to work with families who are victims of domestic violence. Look around our website and if you have any comments or questions, please feel free to contact us. We hope to see you again! Check back later for new updates to our website. There’s much more to come!

 

Website:  www.parentsandchildrenunited.com

 

As a way to fund this non-profit I'm selling Mary Kay Products at http://www.marykay.com/bdvan 

Why us?

Our focus is to empower family unit.  Our services will include the whole family (mother, father, children and other family members.)  Many families have been disrupted by many of life's issues, and we are here to help bring families back together being happier and healther together.

 

Classes that will be provided:

 

Self-sufficiency classes to the parents

Dress for success

How to have a successful job interview

Budgeting

Stress management

Organizational skills

Parenting skills (women and men)

Nutrition & excise

Pregnancy classes

Abuse prevention (children and domestic)

Self esteem

Why Successful People Never Bring Smartphones Into Meetings

Why Successful People Never Bring Smartphones Into Meetings  by Kevin Kruse  

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Do you check your phone for text messages or emails during business meetings?
According to new research from the University of Southern California’s Marshall School of Business, you are probably annoying your boss and colleagues. Furthermore, the research indicates that older professionals and those with higher incomes are far more likely to think it is inappropriate to be checking text messages or emails during meetings of any kind.
Researchers surveyed 554 full-time working professionals who earned more than $30K in income and were employed by companies with at least 50 employees. They asked survey participants about the use of smartphones in formal and informal meetings to uncover attitudes about answering calls, writing or reading emails or text messages, browsing the internet, and other mobile phone related behaviors. Key findings include:

• 86% think it’s inappropriate to answer phone calls during formal meetings
• 84% think it’s inappropriate to write texts or emails during formal meetings
• 75% think it’s inappropriate to read texts or emails during formal meetings
• 66% think it’s inappropriate to write texts or emails during any meetings
• At least 22% think it’s inappropriate to use phones during any meetings

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These findings don’t surprise Roger Lipson, executive coach and founder of The Lipson Group who said, “In my 360-survey work with executives, ‘smartphone/tablet use in meetings’ is one of the most frequent comments for the ‘behaviors to stop doing’ category.”
Why do so many people—especially more successful people—find smartphone use in meetings to be inappropriate? It’s because when you access your phone it shows:

• Lack of respect. You consider the information on your phone to be more important than the conversation in the meeting; you view people outside of the meeting to be more important than those sitting right in front of you.
• Lack of attention. You are unable to stay focused on one item at a time; the ability to multitask is a myth.
• Lack of listening. You aren’t demonstrating the attention and thinking that is required of truly active listening.
• Lack of power. You are like a modern day Pavlovian dog who responds to the beck and call of others through the buzz of your phone.

As expected, opinions on cell phone usage vary greatly by age. Millennials were three times more likely than those over age 40 to think that checking text messages and emails during informal meetings was OK. However, unlike other Millennial traits, this difference is one that could influence young professionals’ careers, as they typically reliant on those who are more senior, and older, for career advancement.
As with any communication, it’s important to be open and transparent with what is expected in the workplace. Lipson noted one novel idea to make sure everybody knew what was expected, “One of my clients took a chapter from saloons in the old West. He put a wicker basket at the entrance to his main conference room, along with a sign. The sign had a picture of a smartphone with the message, ‘Leave your guns at the door.’”

To Succeed, Forget Self-Esteem

by Heidi Grant Halvorson

If you look under the Self-Help heading on Amazon, you’ll find roughly 5,000 books listed under the subhead Self-Esteem. The vast majority of these books aim to not only tell you why your self-esteem might be low, but to show you how to get your hands on some more of it. It’s a thriving business because self-esteem is, at least in Western cultures, considered the bedrock of individual success. You can’t possibly get ahead in life, the logic goes, unless you believe you are perfectly awesome.
And of course you must be perfectly awesome in order to keep believing that you are — so you live in quiet terror of making mistakes, and feel devastated when you do. Your only defense is to refocus your attention on all the things you do well, mentally stroking your own ego until it has forgotten this horrible episode of unawesomeness and moved on to something more satisfying.
When you think about it, this doesn’t exactly sound like a recipe for success, does it? Indeed, recent reviews of the research on high self-esteem have come to the troubling conclusion that it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. High self-esteem does not predict better performance or greater success. And though people with high self-esteem do think they’re more successful, objectively, they are not. High self-esteem does not make you a more effective leader, a more appealing lover, more likely to lead a healthy lifestyle, or more attractive and compelling in an interview. But if Stuart Smalley is wrong, and high self-esteem (along with daily affirmations of your own terrificness) is not the answer to all your problems, then what is?
A growing body of research, including new studies by Berkeley’s Juliana Breines and Serena Chen, suggest that self-compassion, rather than self-esteem, may be the key to unlocking your true potential for greatness.
Now, I know that some of you are already skeptical about a term like “self-compassion.” But this is a scientific, data-driven argument — not feel-good pop psychology. So hang in there and keep an open mind.
Self-compassion is a willingness to look at your own mistakes and shortcomings with kindness and understanding — it’s embracing the fact that to err is indeed human. When you are self-compassionate in the face of difficulty, you neither judge yourself harshly, nor feel the need to defensively focus on all your awesome qualities to protect your ego. It’s not surprising that self-compassion leads, as many studies show, to higher levels of personal well-being, optimism and happiness, and to less anxiety and depression.
But what about performance? Self-compassion may feel good, but aren’t the people who are harder on themselves, who are driven to always be the best, the ones who are ultimately more likely to succeed?
To answer that, it’s important to understand what self-compassion is not. While the spirit of self-compassion is to some degree captured in expressions like give yourself a break and cut yourself some slack, it is decidedly not the same thing as taking yourself off the hook or lowering the bar. You can be self-compassionate while still accepting responsibility for your performance. And you can be self-compassionate while striving for the most challenging goals — the difference lies not in where you want to end up, but in how you think about the ups and downs of your journey. As a matter of fact, if you are self-compassionate, new research suggests you are more likely to actually arrive at your destination.
In their studies, Brienes and Chen asked participants to take either a self-compassionate or self-esteem enhancing view of a setback or failure. For example, when asked to reflect on a personal weakness, some were asked to “imagine that you are talking to yourself about this weakness from a compassionate and understanding perspective. What would you say?”
Others were asked to instead focus on boosting their self-esteem: “Imagine that you are talking to yourself about this weakness from a perspective of validating your positive qualities. What would you say?”
People who experienced self-compassion were more likely to see their weaknesses as changeable. Self-compassion — far from taking them off the hook — actually increased their motivation to improve and avoid the same mistake again in the future.
This increased motivation lead to demonstrably superior performance. For instance, in one study, participants who failed an initial test were given a second chance to improve their scores. Those who took a self-compassionate view of their earlier failure studied 25 percent longer, and scored higher on a second test, than participants who focused on bolstering their self-esteem.
Why is self-compassion so powerful? In large part, because it is non-evaluative — in other words, your ego is effectively out of the picture — you can confront your flaws and foibles head on. You can get a realistic sense of your abilities and your actions, and figure out what needs to be done differently next time.
When your focus is instead on protecting your self-esteem, you can’t afford to really look at yourself honestly. You can’t acknowledge the need for improvement, because it means acknowledging weaknesses and shortcomings — threats to self-esteem that create feelings of anxiety and depression. How can you learn how to do things right when it’s killing you to admit — even to yourself — that you’ve done them wrong?
Here’s an unavoidable truth: You are going to screw up. Everyone — including very successful people — makes boatloads of mistakes. The key to success is, as everyone knows, to learn from those mistakes and keep moving forward. But not everyone knows how. Self-compassion is the how you’ve been looking for. So please, give yourself a break.

Living Free

Today's Scripture-by Crosswalk

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." - Romans 12:2 NLT
Thoughts for Today
This week we have looked at the fact that today's culture proclaims that there is no absolute right and wrong, that everything is relative. Television programs say it. Journalists say it. Movies say it. Books say it.
But the Bible says something different. The Bible says that God in his love has given us boundaries for our protection and well-being. It is up to each of us—every day—to decide what we will do about the boundaries. It comes down to a matter of will. Am I going to seek God's will for my life and obey him? Or am I going to go my own way, do my own thing, no matter what God says.
As we follow Jesus, we begin to learn that he has a good plan for our lives. Our lives won't be perfect. We'll still have struggles and problems, disappointment and heartache. but God will be with us every moment, encouraging us, strengthening us, comforting us and helping us. He will give us joy and peace. We will learn that his way is always the best way.
Consider this …
How about you? Are you still doing your own thing and ignoring God's way? Or maybe you are submitted to him for the most part, but there are still one or two areas of your life you are holding on to stubbornly, insisting on doing things your way even though you know you are not pleasing God.
Remember that God loves you more than you can imagine. And he has a great plan for your life. Choose Jesus and his way—in every area of your life. You will learn that his way is always the best way.
Prayer
Father, thank you for your patience. I know I've been hanging on to some areas of my life, insisting on doing things my way, not yours. But it's not working out very well. I know that your way really is the best way. Please forgive me and help me submit to your way completely. In Jesus' name …
These thoughts were drawn from …
Knowing God My Father: Applying the Names of God to My Personal Life by Jimmy Ray Lee, D.Min. This curriculum is designed to help people strengthen their relationship with their heavenly Father by applying His names to their personal life. Along with helping Christians know God better, it can serve as an evangelistic tool by giving a true picture of God to people who may have a distorted view of Him because of an absent or abusive earthly father who did not or does not provide for them. This group can also help men who want to be better fathers. Note: This curriculum was written especially for small groups, and we encourage people to use it that way. However, it can also be used effectively as a personal study for individuals or couples.

How to Give Thanks In All Circumstances

by Crystal McDowell 

      

 It’s tough to remember to give thanks to God in all circumstances especially when we are going through a difficult season. Our troubled times beg for attention that often distracts from the bigger picture of God being in control of our lives.

The irony of this forgetfulness is that an attitude of gratefulness actually makes our load lighter.

What can we do to cultivate a thankful spirit all the time?

#1) Designate a certain time of our day for giving thanks to God.

“This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24).

Most of us have a particular time to wake up, eat, work, or play—yet how many of us make the effort to thank God on a regular basis? When Jesus healed the ten men with leprosy, only one man remembered to come back and thank Him. (Luke 17:11-17). Sometimes we are like the other nine, we’re so enthralled with having our longings fulfilled that we often forget the One who made it possible. Keeping a journal nearby will help in this time of prayer and thankfulness. It will also strengthen your faith in God when you go back and read of His goodness during the hard times.

#2) Discipline our thoughts to remain thankful even in difficult situations.

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

It’s much easier to sulk about our disappointments and hardships than it is to search out what we can be thankful for even in the midst of hardship. As believers in Jesus Christ, we have the ability through the power of the Holy Spirit to discipline our thoughts. Our carnal nature or flesh longs to be fed and coddled into pity parties instead of refocusing our minds on thanking God for His goodness. We have the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16); therefore, we press our thoughts towards Him and not our circumstances. This type of discipline happens over time when we surrender our weakness to God and trust Him to lead our thoughts towards thankfulness.

#3) Develop an attitude of thankfulness through the reading of Scripture.

“Cause me to understand the way of your precepts that I may meditate on your wonderful deeds” (Psalm 119:27)

We can best retrain our thoughts through the constant influence of the Scriptures. The book of Psalms is a great place to start the practice of giving thanks and praise to God for His wonderful works in our lives. There are many times the psalmists are transparent with their pain and suffering; yet they generally end with the positive influence of giving thanks to God. We can memorize, write, or recite select scriptures for those times when we’re tempted to stray away from having a thankful spirit.

Related reading: How To Find Time To Read the Bible: Top Ten Tips

#4) Deal with any ungrateful attitude in yourself immediately.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23).

It doesn’t take much for us to get wrapped around our problems without recognizing the insidious nature of an unthankful attitude. We forget that even in our need—God is providing everything in His own timing and way. The quickest remedy is to recognize our own lack of gratefulness and thank God right at that moment. Our true motives spring out of our hearts whether grateful or ungrateful and is revealed through our actions.

#5) Dedicate yourself to encourage others towards a spirit of thankfulness at all times.

“Correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction” (2 Timothy 4:2).

Stand in a long line at any place (grocery store, bank, or government offices) and there’s usually much grumbling. As Christians, we have the unique ability to recognize opportunities to reveal Christ in moments where thankfulness is running low. Our attitude of gratefulness can have a contagious effect when we rise to the occasion. God receives glory from our testimony to others of His faithfulness and recognition of His goodness especially when life gets inconvenient.

God, I thank You for…

There’s much spiritual growth and maturity from a believer who begins their prayers with “God, I thank You…”. It’s much easier to start with the long list of our needs and desires; yet praying thanking God first reveals a heart that is completely trusting in our Lord. Beginning with thankfulness brings each of us to the reality of His goodness, grace, and faithfulness especially when we’re suffering. The Holy Spirit reassures our hearts and minds that God is going to take care of those who love and serve Him. Giving thanks at all times is one of the greatest spiritual steps of growth for all believers.

5 Risks To Take For God Today

by Pamela Rose Williams 

       How much do you trust the Lord? Do you trust Him enough to walk completely by faith? Walking by faith takes an element of risk. It’s true! When we walk by faith we risk our earthly comfort and reliability and trust that the Lord will provide for everything – even outside of our comfort zone. The Bible is rich in historical accounts of the risks that can be taken for God.

See how you relate to these five risks that you can take for God today.

Go to a strange land for God

By faith Abraham, when he was called to go out into a place which he should after receive for an inheritance, obeyed; and he went out, not knowing whither he went. (Hebrews 11:8)

Abraham believed and trusted God when he risked it all and took his family to a strange land. He did not question the Almighty, he simply packed up his family and went – even without knowing where he was going. Now that is a risk! Some call it blind faith and perhaps that is why Paul reminds us that if we saw where we were going we would not go there (2 Corinthians 5:7).

It was early in our walk with the Lord that he called my husband and I to fulltime service for Him. We did not know what God’s plan in our life was but we knew He had a plan and as we walked by faith He continually showed us bits and pieces of His perfect plan for us. We have taken risks and moved all over the country as God called us and provided for us. Do you feel that tug at your heart? Is it time for you to take the risk and go where God is calling you to go? Don’t quench the Holy Spirit, listen to Him when He prompts you to take the risk to leave your comfort zone and serve in His mission. And that does not always mean you need to go far away; you never know, your mission might be in your own home town.

Feed the Hungry

Cast thy bread upon the waters: for thou shalt find it after many days. Give a portion to seven, and also to eight; for thou knowest not what evil shall be upon the earth.If the clouds be full of rain, they empty themselves upon the earth: and if the tree fall toward the south, or toward the north, in the place where the tree falleth, there it shall be. (Ecclesiastes 11:1-3)

How many times have you had the opportunity to feed someone and ignored it? Think about that man who is slouched down on the ground in dirty clothes, holding a small brown paper bag with some sort of drink in it. His hair is filthy and disheveled. His beard is out of control and his fingernails are crusted with dirt. Yes, it can be disgusting to behold such a “bum”. Have you considered that he is so busy drinking his meals that he has not had food for a couple or maybe even three days? Jesus said “for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in;” (Matthew 25:35)

Consider choosing a couple things off of the dollar menu at a popular fast food restaurant and sharing these with that hungry man. But don’t stop at providing the physical food that he needs, share the good news of the Gospel of Jesus Christ with him too. For Jesus also said “I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst….” (John 6:35). Give him a Bible he probably has lots of time to read.

Related Reading: What Does The Bible Say About Helping The Poor

Share Your Money with Those in Need

Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. (Ephesians 4:28)

It is very risky to give money to others, especially when you do not know if someone is truly needy. In his letter to the Ephesians Paul was admonishing the believers to live in harmony and to help one another. One way to do that was to earn an honest day’s wages by working with their own hands. The Bible does not support the idea that the government should provide for the people’s needs, instead it encourages people to take care of their own families first and then for the church to help those in need (1 Timothy 5:3-4). As the church, we should know each member well enough that when someone is truly in need we will never feel it “risky” to share our money with them. Encourage those that are able to work to work. Bless those that are not able to work with the fruit of your labor.

Serve God Even in Difficult Circumstances

And it came to pass, as we went to prayer, a certain damsel possessed with a spirit of divination met us, which brought her masters much gain by soothsaying: The same followed Paul and us, and cried, saying, These men are the servants of the most high God, which shew unto us the way of salvation. (Acts 16:16-17)

Shortly after Paul arrived in Derbe and Lystra where he was given Timothy as a disciple, he and Silas departed to Macedonia to come upon time of testing in their ministry. It was a woman who was fortune teller who was making trouble for many days. Even so, they continued to serve the Lord and preach the gospel. Paul called the evil spirit out of the woman and this made her masters very angry because they knew without her soothsaying abilities they would lose much money. So they reported Paul and Silas to the authorities, saying they were making much trouble. Paul and Silas were beaten and thrown into prison.

While in prison Paul and Silas praised the Lord and sang songs to Him. They were miraculously released from prison and this miracle caused the prison keeper to seek his own salvation – he was saved as well as everyone else in his house. Paul and Silas spent the night in the prison keeper’s house and in the morning the magistrate ordered that Paul and Silas be privately released. This did not set well with Paul and he took a great risk of being imprisoned again when he wanted a “public” release. He wanted everyone who witnessed the false imprisonment to witness the release as well.

Paul encourages us never to be ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ (Romans 1:16). It was because of Paul and Silas’s faith that the prison keeper and his family were saved. Paul and Silas risked it all when they began to sing praises to the Lord. They were not afraid to continually praise the Lord, even in the most difficult circumstance.

Deny Yourself and Follow the Lord

By faith Moses, when he was come to years, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter; Choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season; Esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt: for he had respect unto the recompence of the reward. (Hebrews 11:24-26)

When Moses was a baby God saved him from certain death by providing a basket in which his mother placed him to float upon the river. He was rescued from the river by the daughter of the Pharaoh. He was then raised as an Egyptian rather than in the Hebrew family to which he was born. He was essentially a prince of Egypt.

One day Moses witnessed the brutal beating of a Hebrew slave by the Egyptian taskmaster. Moses became so enraged by the attack that he killed the taskmaster. In fear for his own life, Moses fled his Egyptian home to live in exile in the desert. It was there that he met the great and Almighty God. He was called to lead the Jews out of Egypt to the Promised Land. He gave up great earthly treasures to follow the Lord. He risked his own safety to rescue the Hebrew people. He risked it all because he believed that the Lord God would deliver him and his people from the hands of the Egyptians.

Final Thoughts

What is holding you back? Is God calling you to take a risk for Him? Will you go when He says go? Will you feed those who need food? Can you take from your abundance and give to those who really need it? Do you have the courage to proclaim the name of Jesus even in difficult circumstances? Do you believe that when you risk it all God will deliver you and provide for your every need? I pray that you consider the risk and be not afraid to take it. Trust God, you can overcome because He overcame.

Bible Verses About Strength

Bible Verses About Strength- 25 Encouraging Scripture Quotes

by Josh Wiley  

      

 

Bible Verses about strength must start and end with God. It is the power and strength that comes from God that carries us on. As Christians we need to surrender to the strength that God provides and His strength is made perfect in our weakness. As you read through these scripture quotes about strength be encouraged in that it  is not your strength that is needed but the strength that God willingly supplies. Feel free to use this study for a devotional, topical Bible study or Sunday School lesson.

Check out the video to the right of a song about strength: “You Are My Strength” by Hillsong or check it out directly through You Tube

All Strength Comes From God

It is so refreshing to know that we can rest in the strength and comfort that God will provide when facing troubles of many kinds. Let Him have the glory and show himself strong. Listen to this Bible verse: 2Chronicles 16:9 For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him. In this you have done foolishly; therefore from now on you shall have wars.” God wants to show Himself strong on your behalf. Surrender to Him today and let the peace that He gives you take over. We cannot fully serve God without full surrender to his Strength.

Strength Comes From God Bible Verses

Isaiah 40:28-31  Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God,   the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint,   and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary,and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;   they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary;   they shall walk and not faint.

Isaiah 41:10  fear not, for I am with you;  be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you,  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

1 Chronicles 16:11  Seek the LORD and his strength;  seek his presence continually!

Exodus 15:2 The LORD is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation; this is my God, and I will praise him, my father’s God, and I will exalt him.

Philippians 4:13  I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Psalm 18:32-34  the God who equipped me with strength and made my way blameless. He made my feet like the feet of a deer  and set me secure on the heights. He trains my hands for war, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

1 Corinthians 10:13  No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

Psalm 119:23  Even though princes sit plotting against me, your servant will meditate on your statutes.

Examples of Showing Strength in the Bible

The following Bible verses on being strong show us biblical examples of strength and the faith it takes to trust in God so completely that He is your strength. Imagine how much faith it took for Abraham to be willing to sacrifice his long awaited son Isaac.

• David

1 Samuel 30:6  And David was greatly distressed, for the people spoke of stoning him, because all the people were bitter in soul, each for his sons and daughters. But David strengthened himself in the LORD his God.

• Paul

2 Timothy 4:17  But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. So I was rescued from the lion’s mouth.

• Peter

1 Peter 4:11  whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.

• Joshua

Joshua 1:9-11  Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”And Joshua commanded the officers of the people, “Pass through the midst of the camp and command the people, ‘Prepare your provisions, for within three days you are to pass over this Jordan to go in to take possession of the land that the LORD your God is giving you to possess.’”

• Abraham

Genesis 22:1-3  After these things God tested Abraham and said to him, “Abraham!” And he said, “Here am I.” He said, “Take your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I shall tell you.” So Abraham rose early in the morning, saddled his donkey, and took two of his young men with him, and his son Isaac. And he cut the wood for the burnt offering and arose and went to the place of which God had told him.

Bible Verses Showing Strength Comes From Faith Not From Fear

Are you struggling through a situation today and are grasping for answers? How should you respond? Respond with faith and not fear, knowing the promises of God and His mighty hand will hold you through any situation!

Psalm 27:1   The LORD is my light and my salvation;    whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life;  of whom shall I be afraid?

Matthew 17:20  He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.”

Mark 10:52  And Jesus said to him, “Go your way; your faith has made you well.” And immediately he recovered his sight and followed him on the way.

Matthew 21:21  And Jesus answered them,  “Truly, I say to you, if you have faith anddo not doubt, you will not only do what has been done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ it will happen.

Bible Scripture Quotes About Strength as Related to Courage

Jesus has truly overcome the world the day he gave His life for all on the cross. Take peace and be encouraged knowing it is Him who is mighty to save. He will not leave you or forsake you.

Deuteronomy 31:6  Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”

John 16:33  I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

Psalm 23:4  Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,   I will fear no evil, for you are with me;   your rod and your staff,    they comfort me.

Strength Bible Verses- Because of the Hope and Love we have In Jesus Christ

Do not lose heart or become discouraged as we have the Hope of Jesus Christ and eternal life to carry us through. Stay in the Bible and pray continually seeking the face of God and He will be with you. I pray these Bible verses fill your heart with hope from the truth of God’s mighty word.

Zephaniah 3:17    The LORD your God is in your midst,   a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness;   he will quiet you by his love;  he will exult over you with loud singing.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18  So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison,  as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

2 Timothy 1:7  for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

Job 13:15  Though he slay me, I will hope in him;   yet I will argue my ways to his face.

Romans 5:5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Christian Quote About Strength

“Those who serve God must serve Him in His own way, and in His strength, or He will never accept their service. That which man doth, unaided by divine strength, God can never own. The mere fruits of the earth He casteth away; He will only reap that corn, the seed of which was sown from heaven, watered by grace, and ripened by the sun of divine love. God will empty out all that thou hast before He will put His own into thee; He will first clean out thy granaries before He will fill them with the finest of the wheat. The river of God is full of water; but not one drop of it flows from earthly springs. God will have no strength used in His battles but the strength which He Himself imparts. Are you mourning over your own weakness? Take courage, for there must be a consciousness of weakness before the Lord will give thee victory. Your emptiness is but the preparation for your being filled, and your casting down is but the making ready for your lifting up.” – Charles Spurgeon

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20-item Emotional Gift Guide

Here’s an 20-item Emotional Gift Guide from Jack Levine, Founder, 4Generations Institute, which he hopes will be meaningful for you in this season of celebration.

 

- To yourself....respect, confidence, faith and fortitude.

- To a family member....communication and understanding, even if there has been pain.

- To a friend....a heartfelt and caring spirit.

- To our natural world, animal and plant life....protection and preservation.

- To a good cause....generosity of time and treasure and ardent advocacy.

- To a traveler....an open door of hospitality.

- To our military forces, first responders and their loved ones....honor, support and appreciation.

- To the ill and hurting....conscientious concern and healing comfort.

- To the hungry and homeless....compassion, emergency services and creative community solutions.

- To the abused, neglected and abandoned....representation, security and hope.

- To someone with a special challenge....recognition and acceptance.

- To the addicted and troubled....a positive path to recovery.

- To an infant and toddler....attention, attachment and safety.

- To a child or teen....patience, guidance and a positive example.

- To a parent in need....a helping hand and guidance.

- To an elder....reverence, gratitude and dignified care.

- To a customer or client....excellent service and lasting value.

- To everyone you see, friends and strangers alike....a warm smile, acts of kindness and positive energy.

- To people of every age....unconditional love.

- To all the peoples of the world....justice and peace.

Keep Christ In Christmas

8 Ways To Keep Christ In Christmas

by Derek Hill 

      

 Christmas time is here.  We’ll be drawing near.  Oh, that we could always see such spirit through the year!” (Christmas Time Is Here, A Charlie Brown Christmas).  I love, love, love “A Charlie Brown Christmas”!  This was a great cartoon for its time because it did recognize the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ!  As decades and generations pass, people are trying to take Christ out of Christmas with non-confrontational sayings like “happy holidays”.  Well, Christmas is a very “happy holiday”, so why not tell people what it is all about!

Here are 8 ways to keep Christ in Christmas!

Sing Those Carols!

I always enjoy singing along with Christmas carols!  You can feel the warmth and love of Jesus when you sing lyrics like, “Hail, the heaven-born Prince of Peace!  Hail, the Son of Righteousness!  Light and life to all He brings, risen with healing in His wings.  Mild He lays His glory by.  Born that man no more may die!  Born to raise the sons of earth!  Born to give them second birth!” (Hark The Herald Angels Sing)  Christ will fill you with joy when you praise Him!

Related Reading: 8 Christian Christmas Songs

Read The Christmas Story

One of my favorite memories now that I am older is when my dad used to read us about the birth of Jesus on Christmas morning.  When I was young I thought it was a nice story, but now I have memories of my dad that will last a lifetime.  Try it this year if you don’t already.  Tell your family about the birth of Jesus by reading the Word of God!  When you are done, hug and kiss your kids and spouse and tell them how thankful to God you are for having them as a blessing in your life.

Take Care Of The Widows And Orphans

“Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” (James 1:27)  The message of Christmas is that our Savior was born.  We need to “go tell it on the mountain, over the hills and everywhere!  Go tell it on the mountain that Jesus Christ is born!” (Go Tell It On The Mountain)  Take some time to visit the elderly and orphaned.  They need love more than ever.  It gets so lonely for those that have no one left here.  Go love on them!  Tell them about the birth of Jesus!

Related Reading: What Did Jesus Say About The Poor?

Laugh

This sounds simple.  But laugh often!  Laughter can bring joy out in others.  You know what I mean.  When someone starts laughing, others usually follow.  God gave us emotions like laughter and joy, so spread them around like a wild fire!  You never know, you may spark a question out of someone about why you are so happy.  You and I know it is Jesus, and this is a perfect time for seed planting!

Christmas Movies

Movies like “A Charlie Brown Christmas” from above are a great way to keep Christ in Christmas.  You get to hear the story of the birth of Jesus in that one!  Snuggle up with your kids and spouse as you watch the movies.  Another classic is “How The Grinch Stole Christmas”.  There is that line at the end talking about Christmas that says, “perhaps it means a little bit more.”  This is a great chance to talk with your family about what that “little bit more” is, in Christ!

Invite Others To Church

For some, Easter and Christmas are the only days they step foot into a church.  God may use you to be His light to the lost.  Ask that person that God has placed on your heart for quite some time to come to church.  Do not delay!  You may be their only reason to go to church and tomorrow may not come for them.  Don’t let this Christmas pass without inviting the lost to church.  They may receive Christ because of your love.

Presents For The Needy

Our church does an “Angel Tree” every year.  Every angel on the tree has the children of a man or woman in prison on it.  You take an angel off of the tree and go buy the gifts that the children have wished for.  Then, our “Christmas Elves” drop off the gifts and say that they are from mommies and daddies that are in prison.  The children’s faces light up when they see a gift from their mommy or daddy that they miss so badly!  This all stems out of love.  “So now faith, hope and live abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:13)  Spread some love to the needy and they will see Christ in you.

Your Brothers And Sisters

Take a day where you can spend some time with one of your brothers/sisters-in-Christ.  We are called to love one another too!  Take them out to lunch and pay for it because you love them.  Let them know that you thank God for them often and that they are a reason this Christmas is that much brighter!  Jesus is found where true love is expressed, so tell those you love that you love them!

Conclusion

Above everything else this Christmas, don’t let it pass you by without recognizing the most important part of it, Jesus.  The presents, Christmas cookies, movies and hoopla don’t matter if you leave Christ out.  So, keep Christ in all you do this Christmas and shine your light for all to see!  God bless you all as you live a life worthy of the calling!

The Joy of Giving

The Joy of Givingby Mary Southerland

Today’s Truth

2 Corinthians 9:7 (NCV): "Each one should give as you have decided in your heart to give. You should not be sad when you give, and you should not give because you feel forced to give. God loves the person who gives happily."

Friend to Friend

One of my favorite authors, Richard Foster, writes, "Giving with glad and generous hearts has a way of routing out the tough old miser within us. Even the poor need to know that they can give. Just the very act of letting go of money, or some other treasure, does something within us. It destroys the demon greed." God loves to see us give for no other reason than the joy of giving.

The true story is told of a self-made millionaire who had lived in New York City his entire life. Born and raised in a ghetto, he worked hard and achieved much. Anyone who knew this man would testify to the fact that he was generous--to a fault, some would say. One year, the man was disturbed by an attitude of selfishness and greed that seemed to pervade the Christmas holiday season and everyone around him. Not one to condemn, the millionaire decided that since he had been given so much, it was up to him to do his part in combating greed and came up with an unusual plan. Wearing a disguise, this man stuffed his pockets with $100 dollar bills and set out for a walk on the streets of New York City. When he saw someone in need, he whipped out one of the bills, pressed it into that person's hands and with a "Merry Christmas," made his way down the street. "It was the most wonderful part of my holiday season," the man reported, and he has been doing it every since.

God is much more interested in our motive for giving than in the gift itself. If that motive is tainted with greed, the gift simply does not count. A powerful way to guard against greed is to choose joy over greed. Giving with joy is Kingdom giving! Before you give, ask yourself, "What’s in it for me?"  If the answer is "nothing," then go ahead and give the gift.

When our children were in middle school, we owned what I affectionately called a "Mini-Gym." It was a set of bar bells, a weight lifting bench and a few free weights. Both Jered and Danna loved their "gym" and used it almost every day. When Christmas rolled around, we learned that two of their good friends, Jeff and Jeremy, were not going to have much of a Christmas because their dad had lost his job. Jered came up with a plan. "Mom," he said, "Danna and I have talked about it. We think that Jeff and Jeremy would love to have the gym. But we don’t want them to know we gave it to them, because they might be embarrassed. What do you think?" I thought I was in the presence of two joyful givers and quickly joined them in their plan.

A few days before Christmas, Jered and I took the gym apart and loaded it in our car while Danna found a huge red bow. Together, we made a sign that read, "Merry Christmas! We love you!" Danna blew up balloons while Jered dug out some Christmas lights. We enlisted the help of a neighbor who had a key to our friend’s house and joined in the fun by agreeing to find out when the coast was clear, unlocking the back door and letting us in. At the designated time, off we went, laughing and singing Christmas carols. We parked down the street until the neighbor called, giggling, to let us know she was all set. Once we were inside, we raced to assemble the gym, post the sign, tie the balloons and tape the lights to the front door, leading our friends to their Christmas surprise on the back porch. We then high-tailed it home as if the FBI was hot on our trail! The neighbor reported that just minutes after the boys returned, she heard shouting and "whooping and hollering." The joy of that Christmas still lingers today. Greed doesn’t hold a candle to joyful giving!

Greed is never satisfied and never at rest. There is always something more to be gained and someone else to outdo. Take sheep, for example.  Sheep are dumb enough to eat until they are sick. They simply do not know when to stop. A heart that is filled with greed behaves the same way. I am afraid our heart motives are all too frequently self-serving when it comes to giving. Our pride is at stake, so we give to impress others. Perhaps, we give out of fear and guilt, hoping to buy God's forgiveness from our sin. People are watching, so we give in order to gain their approval. What is the solution? Giving! Giving is a powerfully effective deterrent to greed when we give for no other reason than the joy of giving.

Proverbs 11:24-25: "Some people give much but get back even more. Others don’t give what they should and end up poor. Whoever gives to others will get richer; those who help others will themselves be helped."

I once read an article that described three types of givers. The first kind of giver is the "flint." To get anything out of a flint, you have to hammer it, and even then, you only get chips and sparks. A second kind of giver is the "sponge." You have to squeeze it and the more pressure you use, the more you will get. The third kind of giver is the honeycomb. It just overflows. What kind of giver are you?  Experience the joy of Christmas when you experience the joy of giving. Merry Christmas!

Let's Pray

Father, thank You for all You have given me. Help me to be the kind of giver that points people to You. I choose against my pride or any wrong motive for giving Christmas gifts this year. I choose to keep my eyes on You and my glance on the world. I love you! In Jesus' name, amen.

Now It's Your Turn

We make a living by what we get out of life, but we make a life by what we give and how we give it.  Beecher wrote, "No man can tell whether he is rich or poor by turning to his ledger. The heart makes a man rich. He is rich or poor according to what he is, not according to what he has." How do these words relate to your life this Christmas?

Take inventory of your "stuff." Make an actual list. Then set aside a time of prayer and solitude during which you give each one to God.

Consider giving an anonymous gift and recruit your family to help.

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

Written by marcandangel

When you stop chasing the wrong things you give
the right things a chance to catch you.

As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”  Nothing could be closer to the truth.  But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.
Here are some ideas to get you started:

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you likeeveryone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.
11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.
21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  Read Getting Things Done.
24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.
25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.
28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.