How many times have you heard the statement “I’ll never be able to forgive myself for what I’ve done?” Maybe you’re even guilty of making that statement yourself. Forgiveness can be a very hard thing to offer another who has offended or hurt us, but forgiving ourselves seems to be even harder. There seems to be a tendency to hold ourselves far more accountable than we hold others for the very same offense.
Why is that? One reason is pride. While that may seem to be a contradiction, it’s really not. Whenever we enforce a different set of rules, or enact a higher set of standards for ourselves over others, that is pride. When we can find it within our self to forgive others, but not ourselves, what we are in effect saying is that we are less capable of making a poor decision than others. We are stating that we believe our self to be more discerning, sensible, more insightful and more careful than others, and therefore, we have no excuse for doing what we did and should not forgive ourselves. When God Himself, offers to forgive the sins of all who seek His forgiveness but we refuse to forgive ourselves, we are setting ourselves above others and that, called by any other name is still pride.
How to Forgive Yourself:
So how does one forgive one’s self? Simple, in the same way they would forgive someone else. The principles are the same.
First, one must seek the forgiveness of God for all sin ultimately is against Him. King David reminded us of that when he sought forgiveness for sleeping with a married woman. He then compounded the offense when he had her husband removed from the picture by ordering him to the front lines of battle where he knew he’d be killed. In Psalm 51:3&4, he cries out to God and says, “For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against you and you only I have sinned and done what is evil in your sight.”
God is ready and waiting to forgive your sin and then, He promises to remember it no more.
I John 1:9 “If we confess our sin, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sin and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
The next step is to remember that forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. In the same way you must choose to forgive someone, (not just try and feel better about them or what they did) you must choose to forgive yourself.
Next, it is very important to remember that forgiveness does not mean excusing the action – for another person, or yourself. That is what so powerful about forgiveness. It’s choosing to forgive in spite of the wrong or terrible thing done to or by you. It also means not dwelling on it any more or bringing it up again in any further conversation, either with others, or yourself.
When true forgiveness takes place, it involves taking pity on that person and recognizing that they need grace as much as you do. Forgiving yourself means taking pity on yourself, as much as you would anyone else. Along with that, goes recognizing and acknowledging your need for grace. Don’t be hard on yourself. You are a human being with weakness and flaws and a great capacity for making mistakes. Take responsibility for the wrongs you’ve done, receive God’s forgiveness and then extend that hand of mercy to yourself.
If, God in all His greatness and power freely extends forgiveness to you when you ask, who are you not to do the same for yourself?
How to Forgive Yourself:
So how does one forgive one’s self? Simple, in the same way they would forgive someone else. The principles are the same.
First, one must seek the forgiveness of God for all sin ultimately is against Him. King David reminded us of that when he sought forgiveness for sleeping with a married woman. He then compounded the offense when he had her husband removed from the picture by ordering him to the front lines of battle where he knew he’d be killed. In Psalm 51:3&4, he cries out to God and says, “For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against you and you only I have sinned and done what is evil in your sight.”
God is ready and waiting to forgive your sin and then, He promises to remember it no more.
I John 1:9 “If we confess our sin, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sin and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
The next step is to remember that forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. In the same way you must choose to forgive someone, (not just try and feel better about them or what they did) you must choose to forgive yourself.
Next, it is very important to remember that forgiveness does not mean excusing the action – for another person, or yourself. That is what so powerful about forgiveness. It’s choosing to forgive in spite of the wrong or terrible thing done to or by you. It also means not dwelling on it any more or bringing it up again in any further conversation, either with others, or yourself.
When true forgiveness takes place, it involves taking pity on that person and recognizing that they need grace as much as you do. Forgiving yourself means taking pity on yourself, as much as you would anyone else. Along with that, goes recognizing and acknowledging your need for grace. Don’t be hard on yourself. You are a human being with weakness and flaws and a great capacity for making mistakes. Take responsibility for the wrongs you’ve done, receive God’s forgiveness and then extend that hand of mercy to yourself.
If, God in all His greatness and power freely extends forgiveness to you when you ask, who are you not to do the same for yourself?
No comments:
Post a Comment